catching up on life
09.22.06 (7:46 pm) [edit]well things finally got back in order around here....went 2 the docs and things r lookin better...only thing is i am on so many meds...this is hard for a person who hates being on meds..jim and i r doin great...we had a talk about how things should be around here...and i told him how i want 2 be part of what goes on around here even dealing with his kids...scott's b-day was yesterday and we had gotten him alot of steeler gear and a new bike...the steeler cake was cute
my grandmother got him a very nice steeler coat and he had gotten enough steelers stuff 2 last him i believe lol...but it was nice 2 see him smile...his father called and told him he doubts he will have the money 2 have anything for him...i told scott his dad should of not told him that beings its his day and there is no need for sadness...but i told him do not worry that he was here with me and that i would make sure he was happy....my daughter said wow he called u...wonder if he will call us on our day...i feel bad for them...but i just remind them that jim and i r here and we love them...very proud mom i am of my children they got all A's on there test all 3 of them....jim and i have been workin hard with them...i told them this year i was not letting them down...last year they did great...katelynn 4 points away from being a 4.0 student....someday i will be able 2 pat myself and jim's back for all we do for them....god i know its early 2 talk about christmas but i started and i can not believe how much shit cost anymore....ugh 5kids 2 buy for is just nutz lol...well i think its time 2 go and pick on jim lol
drowning in tears
09.09.06 (8:23 am) [edit]tears fall as i sit and try 2 understand what the hell is going on in my life....last night i took off my ring and place it back in the box...i can not battle with his ex every moment in my life....i hate drama...it seems she will always be there for they have children....but i believe there is a line....5years they have been divorced when does it sink in....it was a huge step in my life 2 open my door 2 jim and his kids...i thought i would never trust nor love someone again for i have been 2 hell and back and i can not go back...i never dated anyone with a child i thought it was going 2 be rough but when i first saw the kids i knew i could love them just like my own....and i have shown that...last night i had my mom watch my kids 2 give jim and i some time 2 be together and we got some movies and went 2 dinner it was nice until his son called and was screaming at him about coming 2 his game which jim said no because he never calls until he wants something and he was hurt by that he said his kids want nothing 2 do with him unless they need something which is true....so his ex got on the phone and started sayin her shit like well he is a child and u just ignore how he treats u and go 2 his game....WHAT...anyways she goes on sayin how my children r not important its there kids that r important.....last time i checked jim and i where becoming a family and that includes me and my children as well as his kids....i can not stand this women i can not fight this battle each time she feels its neccesary...so jim gives and he just left 2 go watch his play football then bringing his children back here...which i am totally hurt because his ex said the kids feel u spend more time with her kids....ummmmmm they live with us....plus she did not care that she moved there children 2 kentucky 2 years ago and started a family down there...and there son was closer 2 her husband then jim....now that her marriage fell apart because she cheated she now feels that she has 2 come into our lives...what i do not understand is when is jim going 2 stop all this shit...make it known we had enough so i am rather pissed and i told him when he takes the kids back tomorrow i will be there and we will talk with the kids and her...i am tired of her making us out 2 be the bad ones...what ever happen 2 lovin kids and beinging there for them instead of playin these stupid ass child games that she likes 2 play...i feel i have lost him...even though he told me he loves me and that he wants us together i do not feel it....i have health issues and i really do not want this drama...so she feels as she won this battle cause he is sitting at the game...i can not help that my daughter feels the way she does toward jim she loves him like a dad...something she is missing...god this is a mess....i am lost....so i sit and drown in my tears
