just another rambling
01.15.05 (11:24 am) [edit]well another weekend here and so much i have gotten done around here....just keepin busy until rob is home....things r changing at my other job new management wonder how this is going 2 go...i really hope alot does not change like the schedule....i like havin my weekends off...spend time with the kids and do whatever needs done around here... u know i sit and wonder...why i let so much of me before slip away....deep down did bill and i's break up really set me in depression...i let so much go...me..my house...my way of thinking....and when i tried 2 get things back on track it just failed...i was out 2 look for love in so many wrong places and never really took the time 2 understand anything...so they say u learn from your mistakes.... now i got it back....the house is unbelievable i cant believe how i let things go....still tired but what can i say...workin 2 jobs is not easy on anyone...then comin home and being a mom....but i would not change that for a second...i love my kids....and seeing them smile each day brings more happiness into my life.... soon we will be adding 2 our family...haha only if u knew what i ment...oh how minds r going crazy right now...is it a man..is it a baby....hmmm i wonder.... as always u r wrong...so dont even begin 2 think what i am adding 2 my family.....god i am finally back and i feel great about who i became....this passed year was hell....the whole loren shit threw me.....the climates thing i love u so much and blah lol....the james thing...the oh i will be here for u no matter what lmfao...............dear god!!!!!!....god how stupid was i.... someone said i dated boys and i believe he was right....and now its time 2 be with a man.... oh well life is just going places here....and i hope 2 the ones that fucked with my life.....that u get 2 feel some kind of pain...i dont care if its just for a second....cause i am a descent person and i do deserve better then anyone of u could give..... and i thank you for being such an asshole 2 me for me 2 find someone so damn special....anywho..... |
rainy night....and so much on my mind
01.05.05 (3:31 pm) [edit]| blah its a rainy night and its cold....this is when i need my tea and a blanket and time 2 think....i have so much on my mind i am not sure where 2 begin 2 let it out....i am not going 2 talk about rob and i....for i know some get off on knowing every lil dealt on my life....so i will talk about other stuff bothering me...it seems i feel and think different about alot of subjects in my life then i did couple of months ago....u ever walk into a room that u have been in for years and know pretty much everyone and then u walk in one day and realize that u had not know them as u thought....so i sit back and wonder is it them or me....this weekend i plan on getting rid of so much in this house for each room i want almost bare....i have bought alot of new stuff for the house and i guess its comin along...now that i am single since july i have more money and able 2 do as i like..... no more of those uncalled for roadtrips...the thought of me makin all those trips makes me sick....the wear on my truck...ugh...anywho that is the past....i have 2 months 2 have what i want accomplished....this weekend will accomplish so much....yay curtain shopping for the house is so much fun lmfao...blah....its all comin together finally....i am able 2 do as i like buy what i want....no more wondering how i am going 2 do this and that...and the thought of me...not someone else but me doin all this on my own....great feelin...and its great now 2 have weekends off i really get a break and able 2 enjoy my days off....so i have been out a few times and met up with people i went 2 school with it was fun and we r hanging out more on the weekends that i do not have the kidos....only bad part going on in my life is more hours at work....i could go without all of that...but on that note i think a nice cup of tea and a nice bubble bath is sounding good at this point....so i end this for now |
